Far From Sanity
by razzzledazzzle
Summary: His heavy footfalls spoke volumes about his feeling of dread and worrisome things to come. Pre Serenity. [Rayneish]
1. Eins

**"Far From Sanity"**

**Summary:** PreBDM. The crew of Serenity are sent to retrieve the largest diamond in the 'verse from an Alliance ship.

**Disclaimer:** These wonderful characters were not created from my imagination so therefore I do not own them.

**Author's Note:** Enjoy! xD

* * *

BANG. BANG. BANG.Mal fired off another round at the fighters covered in odd tattoos supposedly creating a "don't mess with me" feeling. 

"Jayne, pass me a grenade," he shouted over the gunfire. Jayne delicately handed over one of the many grenades while shooting Vera randomly into the midst of the opposing men. "As soon as this grenade blows, run back to the ship."

"Sir, what about our payment?" Zoe said with concern as she remembered the little gas left.

"Never doubt my commands," grinned Mal, proudly holding up a pouch filled with money. He tossed the explosive device straight into a large gathering of soldiers. The loud bang was drowned out by screams.

"RUN!" Mal said, though there was no point. Jayne pounded into the cargo bay like a quick footed oaf while Zoe gracefully raced inside and slammed her fist against the "close" button. Mal leaped through the shutting door and landed flat on his back.

"I hate it when those hun-dans don't wanna see their money fly away," he chuckled on the ground

.-------------------------------

Mal felt thoroughly pleased with himself. He'd managed to successfully pull off a tricky heist with a few minor complications and no one was hurt. Well maybe a bullet graze or two, but that didn't count.

"Earth-that-was to Mal? Do us proud thieves have a destination?"

Mal blinked back at Wash. "Beaumonde, it's close. Avoid alliance without running out of gas."

"Yes, sir," said Wash while saluting the captain. Mal grunted at Wash's ridiculous antics and headed to the mess.

"Hey captain," smiled Kaylee.

"Hello, sunshine. How's my ship doing?"

"She's mighty shiny, captain. Not one broke part."

"Good. Keep it that way, dong ma?"

"Sure thing, captain," Kaylee grinned as Zoe entered the room looking all business-like and emotionless as possible.

"Do we have a course, sir?" she asked. "Beaumonde. I'm sure there's work to be found."

"Sir, our contacts at Beaumonde retired their operations."

"Ah. Well, we need gas.'

"That we do, sir."

"We'll find something."

"Of course, sir." Zoe left for the bridge to see Wash about a few loose buttons on her shirt. Mal glanced after her sourly. Half-heartedly, he poured himself a cup of tea. While he blew the steam emitting from the cup, what seemed to be an earthquake shook the room and spilled the hot liquid across his shirt.

"Go-se!" cursed Mal under his breath.

"Gorram it, Simon!" yelled Jayne as he entered the room quickly followed by a flustered Doctor.

"River was just having a little fun."

"Fun?! That gorram crazy girl aint fun!'

"Just a few ribbons won't do you any harm."

"It won't do me any harm to break a few of her girly fingers."

"I guess forgiving isn't part of your culture from that barbaric planet you came from."

"Did they teach your how ta fight on that rich planet? Or did ya just learn to use fancy words?"

"What in the gorram 'verse is going on?" demanded Mal.

"River decorated Jayne's room," said Simon.

"That's not decoratin'!" shouted Jayne.

"Ribbons and bows are definitely decorations."

"Not in my room!"

"Your room needed it."

"Do ya wanna repeat that?"

"Too bad she didn't make your room smell better."

"You gou-shi dui, I'll-"

"Now look here," said Mal, "let's not fight over a few bows. Jayne, maybe you should let River put a few ribbons in your hair to make your face prettier as well."

As the gathered crew burst out laughing, Jayne decided they were all psychotic and stormed off.

"You are mighty cheery, captain," giggled Kaylee.

"I had a good day," replied Mal with a smile.

* * *

Translations: 

dong ma: understand

hun-dan: son of a bitch

go-se: crap

gorram: damn

gou-shi dui: pile of dog crap

* * *


	2. Zwei

**"Far From Sanity"**

**Summary:** PreBDM. The crew of Serenity are sent to retrieve the largest diamond in the 'verse from an Alliance ship.

**Disclaimer:** These wonderful characters were not created from my imagination so therefore I do not own them.

**Author's Note:** Enjoy! xD

* * *

The Maidenhood bar was scattered with men ranging from sober to extremely drunk. Belly dancers and a variety of whores entertained the desperate. Mal scanned the crowd for potential criminals looking for the odd one out, but he just ended up staring in disgust as Jayne tickled a blonde slut sitting in his lap. 

"Job options are looking mighty slim," commented Mal.

"We can always move on, sir," said Zoe.

"Well, we aint in a hurry, let's give it some time 'fore heading back to Serenity."

He scanned the room again, noting Jayne had disappeared. A shifty character sat at the bar that wasn't there before. His unruly black hair and dark clothing created an untrustworthy image. The perfect type of criminal looking for simple smugglers.

"And we have a winner," said Mal as he stood up and went to the bar with his empty cup.

"Ching zie lie ee bay Ng-Ka-Pei?"

"You wouldn't happen to be Malcolm Reyonlds?" asked the shady man.

"What's it to you if I was."

"Sometimes a cat needs help finding a bird." Shady man chugged his entire glass of beer in the space of a few seconds and crudely wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "And sometimes the cat would prefer to discuss matters more privately."

"Find a ship, classification firefly named Serenity. Come unarmed." Mal returned to the table to find a rumpled Jayne had returned. With his fly unzipped.

"Jayne, you better not return to my ship looking like that. You'll scare the ladies."

"He already has," said Zoe. All Jayne did was grunt. "So, sir?"

"We have a job."

----------------------------------

Mal glared at the busy street impatiently. First rule to hiring a crew, never be late to deliver the goods.

"Your petty thieving job hasn't arrived yet, Mal?" teased Inara.

"Have nice whoring session I take it."

"He paid well, if that's what you mean."

"Your love worth that much?"

"More than yours."

"Mine is privileged."

"Privileged meaning nonexistent."

"At least my life aint spent faking it."

"Whoever said I was faking?"

"I'm earning a decent living while you prance about with rich folks wasting your time."

"My time is not over yet, Mal."

Mal and Inara glared at each other for a few beats. He was feeling a mit above frustrated and irrated.

"Time isn't forever, and I ain't gonna waste mine."

"You don't have to waste anymore." Mal and Inara jumped at the sudden appearance of the man. He slipped through the shadows and right up to their sides without a sound.

"What the- how'd you- where?" stammered Mal.

"Do you still want the job or did your voice disappear from surprise?"

"No, I mean yes. We want the job. Where's the cargo?"

The man smiled. "I never said anything about cargo."

------------------------------------------------

"He wants us to _what?_" said a shocked Wash.

"Sneak onto an Alliance ship," replied Mal. It took him all his effort from acting as utterly dumbfounded as his pilot.

"Is he out of his mind?" said Jayne.

"I hope he is or we are all in guo-shi dui," stated Mal.

"He's definitely the odd crayon in the box of life," muttered Wash.

"It could be a fed-filled trap, sir," Zoe thought out loud.

"Putting me and River at risk again, Mal," said Simon.

"Your at risk anywhere that the 'verse will hold ya," grumbled Jayne.

"You won't have anyone to patch up your wounds if I'm caught," Simon said looking directly at Jayne.

"We won't be alive if we are caught," Mal said.

"I don't like it, sir. Far too risky," Zoe looked at the captain waiting for his decision.

"I believe Niska was quite a bit more dangerous than feds," whispered Wash.

Mal stared at his crew and realized they already knew his answer. They had begin silently preparing and thinking of what they could do.

"It's not like we aint risked our lives before," said Mal carefully, "I would fully understand if any of ya want to sit this one out."

Silence.

"Captain, which Alliance ship do we plan on invading?" asked Book.

Mal realized they were all odd crayons.

* * *

Translations: 

Ching zie lie ee bay Ng-Ka-Pei: Can I have a glass of Ng-Ka-Pei?

guo-shi-dui: pile of dog crap


	3. Drei

**"Far From Sanity "**

**Summary: **Pre BDM. The crew of serenity is sent to retrieve the largest diamond in the 'verse from an Alliance ship.**  
**

**Disclaimer:** My imagination did not create these wonderful characters so therefore I do not own them, although I did create this story.

**Author's note:** Enjoy and please R&R!

* * *

"Do you think it will work, sir?" Zoe said turning her piercing gaze on him. Mal and Zoe were standing on the bridge along with Wash discussing Book's plan. 

"It's possible."

"That it is."

"That shepherd continues to confound me. Will we ever know what he really is?"

"Someday, sir. Someday."

"His plan should work, though," said Wash, "well that is, as long as nothing decides to disrupt our Zen."

"Something always does though. Best to stay on top of things," said Mal. He nodded to the couple, although they were too busy staring into each other's eyes, and left. His heavy footfalls spoke volumes about his feeling of dread and worrisome things to come. Thoughts drifted in and out of his mind as we wandered along the corridors of his ship, _would this plan work? Is this man a fed? Is the money worth the risk? And above all, was he putting his crew into danger beyond his comprehension?_

"That pi-gu woke up," grunted Jayne instantly sending Mal back to solid ground.

"Good. Care to join me for a little talk with our new roomie?" Jayne's eyes glistened with mischievous violence as he tightly gripped his largest knife in his rough hands. Mal opened the door to the passenger room, and stepped inside.

"I see you get straight to business," stated the weary traveler.

Mal grinned. "You understand my dilemma, um…"

"Tarquin." Jayne snickered.

"Tarquin. You understand how risky this job of yours happens to be."

"That's why I came to you, Captain Reynolds. I heard word that you were the most daredevil captain that flew the Black."

"Right. Well I'm not sure how far risky will take my daredevil self and my crew."

"I'll pay. Whatever the price may be."

"How large is your wallet?" asked Jayne, eyes wide with the prospect of being mighty rich. Quite a shiny thought to him.

"If you're willing to pay any price, this cargo must be mighty valuable."

"Indeed."

"What's this cargo that you are so willing to risk your life, the life of my crew and myself and pay whatever the price for?"

"You would never believe me."

"I've transported some unusual things 'fore, Tarquin."

"How unusual?"

"Wobbly headed dolls, a herd of mule, a cage filled with poisonous snakes, a cow fetus, colorful rugs, crates and crates filled with oysters, a thousand tea sets painted neon green. I've even transported a collection of exotic monkeys. That screeching messes quite a lot with one's sleep pattern."

"This isn't any object sold in the 'verse, Captain."

"Then ya might as well tell me what I'm risking my life fer or I'll have Jayne here carve a few holes in that pretty face of yers, dong ma?"

"Resorting to violence?"

"Only when needed be." Jayne glanced up briefly from cleaning his nails with the edge of his knife. He grinned at Tarquin before resuming his odd habit.

A pained expression crossed Tarquin's face. He knew they would all find out soon enough, and he prolonged the knowledge as much as possible.

Tarquin sighed. "It's a diamond, captain." Jayne eyes were wide with amazement and greed; he hardly noticed his finger was bleeding.

"A diamond?"

"Not just any diamond. The most valuable diamond in the whole 'verse, rare as it is." Jayne's eyes grew wider.

"Now why do you want a large diamond for? There are plenty o' diamonds around, but you just want the biggest?"

"Well, it's so valuable and all, obviously it's worth a large sum of money." More wide-eyed-ness from Jayne. "It happened to be in my possession awhile back when I was taking it to… Well to someone who needed the money. The Alliance decided to board my ship and somehow they re-possessed it." He shuddered with the memory. "Those gui sunzi sent me to jail."

"And you escaped. What I don't understand is why you want it back?"

Tarquin squirmed. Mal could instantly tell something deeper was going on, although he couldn't figure out quite what. Jayne finally noticed his finger bleeding and dripping down his shirt. He stuck the sausage-like thing in his mouth.

"Son, I'm resorting to violence again. Jayne here doesn't need to be reminded twice."

"This diamond," whispered Tarquin carefully, "is to fund the second independent movement."

--------------------------

Mal left the passenger dorm in a daze. He'd heard rumors of course, but he never thought them _true_. The browncoats were planning, and he never even knew. Would that mean they didn't want his help? Or maybe they just hadn't been able to contact him yet. His head spun with all the thinking he was forced to do lately.

"The chameleon reveals it's colors,"

Mal stopped and quizzically looked around. He couldn't see anyone…

"Feet smell."

"Oh, hello little albatross," grinned Mal looking down at River sprawled across the floor.

"He has let go of the kite. Trust has soared with the birds out the window."

Mal stared confoundedly at the girl. Yes, she spoke nonsensical things and was all together crazy, but somehow she managed to say things that made sense in their odd ways.

"Time to grab the string."

* * *

Translations: 

dong ma: understand

pi-gu: ass

gui sunzi: bastard


	4. Vier

**"Far From Sanity"**

**Summary:** PreBDM. The crew of Serenity are sent to retrieve the largest diamond in the 'verse from an Alliance ship.

**Disclaimer:** These wonderful characters were not created from my imagination so therefore I do not own them.

**Author's Note:** Enjoy! xD

* * *

"Serenity, what is your emergency?" asked the alliance worker, voice full of irritation. 

"One of our crew is severely injured. We require your medical facilities and help," said Mal as convincingly as possible. This was the most crucial part of the plan, for if the Alliance ship decided not to help them, they were… well, to put it simply, screwed.

"Do you not have a medic on board?"

"He is the medic."

"Prepare to dock. Remember, if you show weapons, we fire."

"Yes, sir!"

Wash fiddled with the controls while Jayne gave Mal a congratulatory pat on the back.

"Should we get ready?" asked Tarquin. He fidgeted nervously, not used to the way the crew worked.

"Yes, of course. Time to see our medic."

The three men left for the cargo bay, leaving the comedian to dock. The plan was fairly simple but required attention to details. This could prove difficult for the simple smugglers.

"OW!" squealed Simon. "I'm not supposed to actually be hurt, just look like it."

"I wish we could shoot a real hole in 'im," said Jayne. He put his finger threateningly over the trigger of Vera. Of course, nobody paid attention.

"How's the doc, Book? Lookin hurt enough?" said Mal.

"It will do nicely, I suppose," Book said. Mal looked over Simon and almost panicked. They had used extra blood packets to cover his shirt and create the image of a bullet wound. Not to mention, the doc's acting skills were quite helpful. The pained expression and frequent seizures helped the overall affect.

"As soon as they realize he aint hurt, knock em out," ordered Mal. "Then Tarquin will guide us to the diamonds location. Simple as pie."

"Pie aint simple, sir," said Zoe.

"Ya know what I mean."

"And we are docked," said Wash over the intercom system. "Prepare to be loaded in five, four, three, two…" Simon began a fake seizure and Mal held his hands up. KABLAM. The door burst open and Alliance troops quickly entered, pointing guns in the faces of the crew. They swarmed all around like moths to light, searching for weapons and anything considered threatening.

"Is he hurt?" asked the commander.

"It's a deep wound, sir," said a soldier staring over Simon.

"Get him on board. The rest of ya, come along, we'll have to go over your paperwork while the man is being fixed." No one argued, they just followed the doc being led out on a stretcher by a few Alliance medics. The crew followed along corridor after corridor of clean white walls and Alliance technology at its best. One of the Alliance doctors leaned over Simon and instantly became puzzled.

"Uh… commander? This man does not have a bullet wound…" but the medic was never answered for Mal already knocked out the leader and most of the soldiers were already on the ground, never knowing what hit them.

"Grab a gun and move," ordered Mal. "Tarquin, I hope you know where we are going. We aint got much time and you know how I hate to waste mine."

"We keep following this corridor and take a left, then a right, down a set of stairs, another left and we are there," whispered Tarquin while reading a digital map.

"Let's move."

------------------------------

"Sir, the door is locked," said Zoe. Jayne cursed while Mal and Tarquin both furrowed their brows and searched the room for something sharp… something that could break through metal… something like a…

"Bobby pin?" the shepherd held up the small hair device and grinned.

"I aint gonna ask," said Mal, grabbing it quickly from Book and shoving it into the lock. He began to jiggle it around, but nothing changed the tension floating through the air except a few clicks of metal against metal and curses said under Mal's breath.

"Sir, let me try," said Zoe, gracefully taking the pin from the captain and kneeling down in front of the lock. In one swift movement, the door swung open.

"Lucky try," Mal said irritated but realizing Zoe was his first mate for something.

The crew stared into the room and tried to suppress shrieks and gasps.

The floor was covered in squirmy, slithering snakes.

-------------------------------------

River woke with a scream from her peaceful nap in Inara's shuttle. Instantly, she began jabbering on and on pushing her hands over her ears and pulling her legs into the fetal position.

"Cannibals, starving and eating brothers and sisters. One bite, swallow. Fangs. Poison. Beady eyes that see. They hunt and hunt. Prey only on their minds. Death. Hunger."

"River!" Inara quickly ran over to River's side. "Meimei, what's wrong?"

"They slither in the dark. Hungry for meat, prey, death. They want, they smell, they know. No!" River mumbled in a state of distress and confusion. "Big ones come, and free them. Now they are afraid. Afraid of what to do next."

* * *

Translations: 

Meimei: little sister


	5. Funf

**"Far From Sanity"**

**Summary:** PreBDM. The crew of Serenity are sent to retrieve the largest diamond in the 'verse from an Alliance ship.

**Disclaimer:** These wonderful characters were not created from my imagination so therefore I do not own them.

**Author's Note:** Enjoy! xD

* * *

Odd things had happened in Mal's life. Many weird things beyond the norm. He had his war buddy's body sent to him and wake up suddenly, he had been tortured almost to death by a twisted man, he had transported many an odd thing including eyeballs. He even married a girl without even knowing it and then was seduced into a trap by that same gal. But snakes protecting a diamond took the cake. 

"Whoever thought of this trick certainly has a twisted mind," Mal observed.

"Should we shoot em?" asked Jayne.

"They look poisonous, sir," commented Zoe.

"If you shoot them, they might become agitated and bite," said Simon. "They all seem to be of the same species but I've never seen their markings before."

"Ya mean they are some kinda super snakes?" questioned Jayne. Everyone stared at Jayne like he was a complete idiot which he could be most of the time.

"I'm a doctor Jayne, not a herpetologist," replied Simon.

"A herp-a-what?"

"We don't have much time!" said Tarquin frantically. "We need a plan, pronto!"

"I think Jayne should shoot at them and see what happens," said Zoe.

"I ain't shootin at no super snakes," said Jayne.

"Go-se!" yelled Tarquin and grabbed Vera right out of Jayne's hands. He stepped inside the room and started firing off round after round at the creepy snakes. His aim was bad so he hardly hit any and when he did, they squirmed around while bleeding and hissing until they became unconscious. One snake slithered close to Tarquin and while he wasn't looking, snapped straight forward and bit his leg.

Tarquin fell down without uttering a word. Mal whipped out his gun and shot the snake hanging off his leg.

"Pi-gu!" Mal cursed. "Foolish kid."

"He still has a pulse," said Simon as she leaned over his unconscious body.

"Well there aint much use in helping him until we get that damn jewel."

Jayne snatched Vera up off the ground and glanced over at Mal.

"Let's blow these gorram snakes to pieces."

"That's the spirit."

"Sir, have you noticed that not even a single alarm bell has gone off, and there are no alliance soldiers coming after us," observed Zoe.

"Lets get the jewel and go, I have an uncomfortable feeling and I don't like it when I do," replied Mal.

Zoe, Jayne and Mal all stepped into the room holding their guns threateningly. The floor squirmed and twisted in a mass array of tangled snakes. Zoe looked over at Mal quickly for reassurance and then aimed. BAM. BAM. BAM. Shot after shot after shot was fired but it seemed as if there were more and more coming.

"This ain't workin Mal," said Jayne above the roar of gunfire.

"Shoot any snake that gets near me, I'm heading for that jewel," commanded Mal as he began walking towards the center of the room shooting every snake in his path.

The scene was horrific, blood covered the ground in pools and shattered snake bodies were strewn across the floor. Yet more and more snakes came, creeping and gliding across their dead comrades. As Mal slowly progressed through the room, he remembered the first time he ever saw a rattlesnake. Way back when he was barely able to catch one of the piglets with his bare hands. He waddled around the yard, a pudgy little thing, and then he heard the rattle. Course, he had no idea what it was and being quite curious, he went to investigate. 'Lo and behold, he saw the rattlesnake and it saw him. And it continued to rattle and he just stared. It was almost like a staring contest until his mom came hollering over and pulled him away.

Oddly enough, Mal almost felt like a child again. But just for a second, right before he stood in front of the stand where the diamond was laid. He reached out to grab it, and smiled like the cat who just got the mouse.

And just as he closed his hand around it, he…. Went right through it?

"Pi-gu, gou-shi dui, hun dan! It's a hologram!" He yelled so loud you could feel the floor shaking. In that instant, Mal and Zoe realized why no alliance soldiers had come after them.

And then the loudest alarm in the bloody 'verse sounded.

--------------------------------

Wash hated when Zoe was on a mission. Mostly because he's the pilot and he has to fly the crew out of there when the situation became too dangerous. But he's also never a part of the stories.

Course, he had been a part once. Though, that's an entirely different story.

For now, he sat in the pilot chair, spinning around while holding the walkie talkie in a death grip. The dinosaur herd sat patiently in a row on the console, waiting and watching. They knew better than to play during a mission.

But Wash felt too bored to sit around worrying and waiting. He scooped up the stegosaurus with his free hand and began a wonderful story.

"I am the stegosaurus and I can fly the beautiful metal birds in the sky. While my dino friends are busy stomping on plants and tearing the flesh from creatures, I sit and grow fat. So fat, I'm afraid I shall explode. Or rather, implode. Or quite possibly just grow into a large lump of blubber and rot away slowly, inch by inch…"

At first, he didn't notice and continued babbling on and on. Then the blinking red light caught his eye, and he leaned over the controls with a puzzled look on his face.

"Go-se," Wash whispered at the flashing screen showing that Serenity was locked onto the Alliance ship. "This dinosaur won't be getting any fatter."

* * *

Translations:

go-se: crap

pi-gu: ass

gou-shi dui: pile of dog crap

hun dan: bastard


	6. Sechs

**"Far From Sanity"**

**Summary:** PreBDM. The crew of Serenity are sent to retrieve the largest diamond in the 'verse from an Alliance ship.

**Disclaimer:** These wonderful characters were not created from my imagination so therefore I do not own them.

**Author's Note:** Enjoy! xD

* * *

Mal was having an off day. He was standing in a room surrounded by snakes with a holographic jewel and an alarm blaring across the whole 'verse. He realized the crew had about ten seconds before they were surrounded by alliance soldiers and he had no idea how this whole ordeal was going to turn out. But he knew better than to think of what could happen and deal with what was happening. So Mal ran back across the room while shooting every gorram snake in his gorram way. 

"Zoe! Get ahold of Wash," yelled Mal as he came crashing back in the corridor. Jayne slammed the door shut in the snakes' faces and thousands of hisses could be heard from the other side.

"Already did, sir, we're locked on the Alliance ship," said Zoe in her blank military voice.

"Gui sunzi!" cursed Mal.

"Sir, we have more important problems right now. Wash can figure out how to unlock us but we have to get back to the ship first."

"Not to mention we are gonna be crawling with Alliance soldiers soon," said Jayne.

"Zoe and I will cover the front," ordered Mal, "Jayne, cover the rear and Simon, stay in the middle with Tarquin. Will you be able to carry him doc?"

"I'll do my best."

"Good, lets wait at the end of the hall until they come our way, then we'll shoot and move as we go."

The group waited patiently and quietly, listening for the sound of heavy commando boots stomping. THUNK. THUNK. THUNK. THUNK.

"Sir, that doesn't sound like feet," whispered Zoe.

"Naw, it sounds like bodies," said Jayne.

The crew looked at each other with wide eyes. THUNK. Wider eyes. THUNK.

"Sir, should someone check it out?" asked Zoe

"Be my guest."

Nobody moved.

"Jayne, why don't you go ahead and take a quick peek?"

"No thanks, Mal, you're the captain! Ain't this a captainy thing to do?"

"Of course not, the captain has to protect himself so he can give the orders around here."

"What about Zoe?"

"She's second in command, and she's a lady. We don't put woman folk in immediate danger like that."

"Gorram it, Mal!"

"Don't be a baby, Jayne, just take a look."

Jayne grumbled but finally followed orders. He tentatively peered around the corner. The crew watched as his nervous expression quickly changed to shocked surprise.

"Well, what is it Jayne?" asked Mal in irritation. Jayne either didn't hear Mal or decided to ignore him since he continued to stare at whatever it was with his mouth wide open.

"Ai-ya," cursed Mal. He cautiously walked over to where Jayne stood motionless and glanced in the direction Jayne was looking. And stared.

"River?"

---------------------------------

She felt their fear come and go like drops of worry and anger and afraid dripping from a faucet. The fear spread forming a puddle of mixed emotions. And as she watched it form, she slowly changed. New instincts bubbled forth and her emotions were ignored. Quietly, she read thoughts and waited for her chance.

"Meimei, would you like some tea?" asked Inara politely.

"Time is gradually slipping like sand through fingers. The cat must be ready to pounce."

Inara gave River a skeptical look but realized it was no use. The girl was lost in her own thoughts and her words were just as confusing as usual. The companion couldn't help but wonder what she had been like before the experiments. Did she like to shop and obsess over boys like so many other teenage girls? Probably not, though Inara as she shook the question from her mind. After all, how could life be the same for a genius girl as it was for a normal teenager?

"The cheetah is the fastest land animal, so it must run," River whispered. Inara glanced up but was too late. River took off, running out of the shuttle and speeding down the stairs to the cargo bay and then beyond. Inara barely saw River leave the ship. She knew it was humanly impossible for her to catch up with River. The companion felt panicky, like she failed her part of the mission. Taking a deep breath, she realized she wasn't the only one left on the ship. Inara ran to the bridge with renewed energy, but instantly she knew something was wrong when she heard Wash cursing.

"Kaylee, you are needed immediately on the bridge," Wash quickly said on the intercom just as Inara rushed in.

"River ran, she ran onto th-the Alliance ship," stuttered Inara, "I couldn't stop her, she's just too fast, so fast…"

"Gou-zai-zi!" cursed Wash.

"What's wrong, Wash?" said Kaylee as she stepped onto the bridge. Her cheery expression instantly changed to worry as she saw Inara shaking and teary and Wash's face turning a deep shade of red.

"Oh, nothing's wrong, we came to steal a holographic diamond, we're locked on an Alliance ship and River decided to jump ship. Man gorram overboard!"

* * *

Translations: 

gui-sunzi: bastard

ai-ya: damn

gou-zai-zi: son of a dog

meimei: little sister


	7. Sieben

**"Far From Serenity"**

**Summary:** PreBDM. The crew of Serenity are sent to retrieve the largest diamond in the 'verse from an Alliance ship.

**Disclaimer:** These wonderful characters were not created from my imagination so therefore I do not own them.

**Author's Note:** After a long period of writers block, I finally have chapter 7 up! Sorry to keep you waiting, enjoy!

* * *

Jayne could not believe his eyes. Bodies of alliance soldiers surrounded by a girl in a loose fitting dress with a grim expression set into her face. She didn't have a gun or blade with her, just her bare hands and commando boots finally on her feet from much forceful effort. Patches of red puddles gathered here and there across the floor while red dots scattered the white walls. The only sound besides the blaring alarm came from River, panting so deep and rough almost like an animal. And all Jayne could do was stare. 

_Beautiful, _Jayne thought, _a beautiful disaster._

"River? Are all them violent notions out of yer head?" asked Mal carefully.

"She no longer lusts for blood, the adrenaline is gone," River whispered. She started to sway weakly back and forth, back and forth. "So much red…"

THUMP.

"Jayne go get River and then let's get back on Serenity," ordered Mal. He quickly helped a worried Simon to his feet and gathered Tarquin's unconscious body in his arms. Jayne stiffly walked forward after a few seconds of frozen limbs and a numb mind. He couldn't believe the very thoughts that floated through his mind a few seconds earlier. That gorram crazy girl is strong and powerful, but beautiful? Seemed to be stretching things too far in his opinion. Yet the attraction he felt seemed the opposite of far, actually, it felt quite close. Too close for his mind to be wandering. Very, very close.

Jayne stood over the girl laying on the ground. Her hair fanned out in a pool of blood and her dress was ruined. But her face, well, her expression looked very calm. Thinking he better not be caught staring at that gorram girl, he scooped her up in his giant arms giving no thought to the blood staining his favorite shirt and began to step over the fallen bodies.

----------------------

Wash paced back and forth impatiently in front of the pilot console while Kaylee lay on her back trying to find a way to break the lock on the Alliance ship. He hadn't heard from the rest of the crew and was gradually becoming more and more worried. Normally, Zoe or Mal or even Jayne would have called him on the walkie talkie and informed him of the latest predicament, but all he heard from the other side was static. Thoughts of horrible situations floated through his mind. Someone might have been shot or they were surrounded by Alliance soldiers. He could just imagine blood pouring out of Zoe, which scared him to the very core of his being. Shuddering, he decided to concentrate on the most pressing issue of the moment.

"Kaylee, did you try to rearrange the versate wires? Or clip that useless raff tube?"

"I've tried everything I could think of, Wash," Kaylee replied in a frustrated voice, "but I think we need to get ourselves on that there Alliance ship and just figure out their controls to unlock our self."

Wash ground his teeth. If they didn't hear from the crew on the mission in a few minutes, he might be forced to enter that gorram Alliance ship himself. Not a pleasant thought, but definitely doable since he had attacked Niska's floating space ship.

"Why can't we just have a tea party?!" moaned Wash. "That way we could sip tea out of tiny cups and eat biscuits instead of almost being constantly killed by Alliance and rebels!" moaned Wash.

"Tea parties don't include flying ships," replied Kaylee, "now a little help with this would be mighty shiny."

"Wash? Wash, sweetie?" mumbled the walkie talkie making Zoe's voice sound robotic filled with all the static.

Wash reached out and quickly grabbed the walkie talkie to respond. He felt as if a giant weight lifted from his shoulders as he realized that for now he wouldn't be needed to hold any search parties.

----------------------------------------------------------

"What in the blazes just happened Simon?!" yelled Mal, grabbing the front of the poor doctor's shirt. Tarquin lay sprawled on the operating chair between them completely unconscious. Jayne had left River on the couch outside the infirmary and now stood guard along with Zoe and Book outside the connecting tube between Serenity and the Alliance ship. As much as they hated being tricked by the holographic diamond, the crew still had the pressing problem of being stuck to the enemy vessel.

"Mal, I swear I have no idea what happened," said Simon frantically.

"Well that, that _girl_ somehow seriously hurt all those soldiers," screamed Mal. "Possibly even killed."

"I think it's what they did to her when they played with her brain," said Simon in a quiet, shaky voice. "I think, well, I think they were trying to make her into a-a weapon."

Mal shook with fury. He already had to go out of his way to get jobs with these fugitives on his ship, but this little outburst was just icing on they already poisoned cake.

"Now, Mal, if you don't mind, I need to help my patient," whispered Simon who was about as nervous and worried as the captain. Mal carefully let go of Simon's shirt as the doctor checked Tarquin's pulse. Mal stood for a few seconds in agitated frustration. As he turned to leave, he jumped in surprise with the sight of a very awake, very alarmed River standing right in front of his very body.

"More are coming, distress call alert. She must fly swift and true before they riddle her with holes," River spoke in her native crazy tongue.

"You ain't gonna kick my ass right now are ya little one?" questioned Mal.

"I don't need to protect anyone from you," she blatantly stated.

"Good point," said Mal, "but just so I know you ain't gonna turn against my crew, hows about you explain what just happened."

"She had to save the adventurers from certain fatal danger," River said with a tilt of her head and a slight smile crossing her lips. "Thirteen bullets are not enough to kill Fifty."

Mal smiled. "I guess you aren't as harmless as I thought."

"MAL!" screeched Jayne.

"Why does he always go shoutin my name?" moaned Mal.

"Mal! Three more alliance ships are coming and we are still gorram locked on this alliance ship," yelled Jayne.

"Gou-zai-zi," cursed Mal. "Wash!" Mal yelled attempting to break through the walls of firefly on his way to the bridge. "Wash!!!" Jayne and River followed the captains thundering footsteps and booming voice. River could feel the anger radiating off of his skin, almost like a smell. "WASH!!!!!!"

"O-Loud-one!" said Wash theatrically, "We are caught between a rock and a very hard place."

"Go-se, Wash, I know. Can't you get us un-locked?"

"We've been trying our best."

"That's neither a yes nor no and I can't sit around relaying on a maybe while my crew here could be eaten by Reavers any minute now!"

"If you think you can do better, why dontcha?!"

Kaylee rolled out from under the control panel. She looked quite agitated and frustrated. Mal knew better then to push matters when a woman had such a mad look on her face like that, but, captain or not, they were all in quite a predicament.

"Captain, the only way to get us un-locked would be to get on that there Alliance ship and un-lock us ourselves!" Kaylee yelled.

"Are you sure you can't unlock us from here?" asked Mal, his voice calming down.

"No, captain."

"Well, then, it looks like we're going to do a bit of exploring."

"Can I bring grenades?" asked Jayne.

"Sure, Jayne, bring whatever you want," said Mal in an exasperated tone.

Jayne's face light up like a Christmas tree before he ambled off to gather a few of this favorite weapons while Wash poked at a cortex screen. He brought up a picture of an Alliance ship, the exact classification of the one they were stuck to and scanned the blueprints, searching for the bridge. "Here," said Wash pointing, "that's where the control panel the button to unlock us should be."

"Thanks, Wash. You, Kaylee, River and Book need to keep a look out while we're gone."

"Please hurry, Mr. Reynolds, or I shall faint!" said Wash with a flourish.

Mal rolled his eyes and walked outta the room and towards the cargo bay. "Sometimes I wonder why in God's name I let that man on my ship," whispered Mal.

* * *

Translations: 

go-se: crap

gou-zai-zi: son of a dog.

gorram: damn


End file.
